


A Vote for Yourself

by VaultOfMelkurMistress



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 70 years on earth, At the same time as Missy, Bored Masters, F/M, Light and funny, Much chinese food, Nardole does not approve, Or not, The Vault (Doctor Who), Vote Saxon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22603198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultOfMelkurMistress/pseuds/VaultOfMelkurMistress
Summary: Dhawan was stuck for 70 years on earth, Missy was stuck for 70 years in the vault, they're bored. Simm is standing for election - vote for themself?
Relationships: The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Master (Dhawan) / Missy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 117
Collections: A Mayhem of Masters, Twissy Stories





	A Vote for Yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rae_Saxon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae_Saxon/gifts).



Nardole screamed. 

His teacup hit the floor, splashing up the door and breaking as it landed. He stared at the man in the Doctor's office. Sitting on the Doctors chair, his feet up on the desk, a sonic from the Doctor’s collection in his hand twirling idly in his fingers.

“Ah, it's the egg. Where’s the Doctor?”

“Excuse me! I am _not_ an egg,” Nardole said, a creeping sense of dread sneaking over him that he couldn't quite place. “Who are you?”

“Friend of the Doctor’s, old friend. Old, _old_ friend,” he said, stretching his arm out and pointing the sonic at the Doctor’s TARDIS and looking down the length of his arm as if he were lining up a rifle.

“Well you, should..put that down,” Nardole said, attempting to sound in control and not at all worried.

The Master raised an eyebrow and laughed. “I want the Doctor.”

“Well I am most definitely getting the Doctor!” Right now! You just stay there!” Nardole said, running out of the room. 

He came back ten minutes later, ushering the Doctor along, relaying a big list of concerns and theories and questioning the Doctor on what he hadn't told him and what he had been up to this time and didn't he remember that he had a vault to guard - he couldn't keep swanning off world when he wasn’t looking and getting into trouble. And this. Looked like trouble. 

The Doctor stopped in his tracks as he stepped through the door. He regarded him silently, tuning out Nardole’s constant questions as he felt a familiar tug at the edge of his mind. He had never seen him before but something struck him, something familiar and old and very personal. 

“Don’t you get bored here? In one place, never travelling, very few innocent humans to run off and save. You’ve got her though, that must make it tolerable. She’s dying of boredom though, you might want to fix that.”

The Doctor stepped forward slowly, cautiously and stopped in front of the desk.

“And how would you know that?”

“Really?” the Master asked, sounding offended. “After all this time, you never see me do you? Every single time. I stood in front of you, put your hand right between my hearts but because I’d told you I was an AI interface you believed me! Doctor really, open that little used part of your mind that can reach out to me, and see me for once!”

The Doctor took a deep steadying breath and released it slowly. 

“You’re her future,” he said, not needing to ask the question.

“And you, my dear Doctor, finally got it!” he paused, pointing a sonic at Nardole. “Butler? Maid? I never could work that one out. But that year I decided to be nice to you and made you a Christmas card, you didn’t even write one back.”

“Well,” Nardole said, hiding behind the Doctor now. “She’s not been nice to me yet.”

“Maybe you blinked and missed it Nardole,” the Doctor said before turning his attention back to the Master. "He was never your butler, he just took care of the shopping, and all your other practical needs”

“Like,” he frowned and spun the sonic in his fingers like a baton. “ _A butler_. I want to see Missy.”

“No, absolutely not,” the Doctor said. 

“I’m stuck here for a while, it’s boring. Painfully boring. She’s bored too, so are you, what else am I going to do?”

“She is making progress, this won't be good for her,” the Doctor said. 

The Master sighed and spun round in the chair, slamming his hands on the desk. “Isolation is not good for her Doctor. What if I tell you that and things are coming and you need my help and only working together with Missy can I help you stop the dissolution of the human race?”

“I would say you are lying badly.”

“Worth a try,” the Master said with a laugh. “Look clearly you don't finish the job, I’m not out saving kittens and puppies, so lock me up with her just for a while.”

"No! She is making great progress."

"She is?!" Nardole said.

“Yes, actually, terrific progress.”

“She threatened to dissect me for useful components two days ago Doctor!”

“Yes Nardole, but she _didn’t_ dissect you, only threatened. Progress!”

“Hungry?” the Master asked, dismissing their exchange of words.

“Why?” the Doctor sighed.

“Well, I am, and she always is in there - dinner date, you me and my ex?”

“Sir, this is a very bad idea!” Nardole warned.

“Mexican?” the Doctor asked, ignoring Nardole. 

“Sir!”

“Mix it up, bring chinese - she gets bored in there, I’ll order.”

“This is not acceptable!” Nardole hissed.

“Hush Nardole, it’ll all be fine," the Doctor said, his eyes never leaving the Master.

  
  
Nardole glared at the Master from behind the Doctor’s back as they stood outside the vault doors, muttering about the Doctor having lost all sense of perspective and rationality and that two Master’s in a room with him was the worst idea he had ever had.

“Thank you Nardole, take the week off,” the Doctor said, as he took the four carrier bags of chinese food from him.

Nardole glared and opened his mouth to speak but realised it was utterly pointless. He shook his head and walked off, shouting over his shoulder, “don’t expect me to fix the mess this will cause. I mean I will. Who else is going to, but MY POINT STILL STANDS.”

“Look away,” the Doctor said, passing the bags to the Master.

“Why?”

“Because you’ll tell her how the door works.”

The Master laughed, almost dropping the food as he leaned against the door, finding the concept unbearably funny.

“I suppose you want me to ask why you're laughing?” the Doctor sighed.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” he said, still laughing.

“I’m not going to, look away.”

“Oh go on, play along," the Master chuckled.

“No, I will not play along,” he said before pressing a button and talking through an intercom. “Missy, I have a guest for you today - not a human, and not Nardole. And chinese food!”

“Oh, yummy. Is my guest yummy too?” she said from somewhere behind the door.

“I expect you will think so.”

“Oh come on, _look_ at me!” the Master said, chuckling as he leaned towards the intercom. “I think you’ll like what you see my dear Missy. He’s hilarious - thinks you don’t know how the door works - how many new security code combinations has it gone through today darling?”

“Oh, sixteen. I have them all written down in my book of things to do when I am being bored to death. You do sound yummy..... are you me honey?”

“Oh I am indeed,” he said with a smile as he turned around and leaned back against the wall, looking in the opposite direction. “ _Missed you_.”

“Oh I can imagine, I'm quite something. What are you wearing?”

“What is he? Missy let me concentrate, I have to start the locking mechanism all over again now!" the Doctor complained.

“Purple darling, it suits us so well,” he said, his voice suddenly low and seductive. “Are you dressed? At this hour, not expecting visitors - you have that brown blouse on?”

“Mmmm yes honey, and my corset is pulled, very t i g h t.”

“I bet it is, are you…”

“Would you both STOP! I need to focus,” the Doctor hissed.

“Slide it up, then left - he is better with his hands then he gives himself credit for Missy,” the Master laughed.

“Oh I know he is. Dark horse that one. Once you've slid it up - blue button, the flashing one, then...oh, the code just changed...do you have it yet or need me to calculate it for you?”

“I am very relieved that Nardole is not here to hear this. That kind of talk gets him very wound up," the Doctor said. "Does it..start with 16?”

Missy and the Master both spoke in perfect unison. “YES!”

The doors finally swung open and the Master thrust the bags at the Doctor, striding in, his hands on his lapels, wanting to make an impressive entrance. Missy closed her piano lid, swivelled around on her stool and leaned her elbow on the lid regarding him, her eyes roaming every inch of him.

“Missy - you. Master - you,” the Doctor said, haphazardly introducing them as he placed the bags on the table.

He set about opening containers and producing cutlery, then looked up, realising they were both utterly silent and cast them a look of disbelief. 

The Master had stepped up onto the platform, sitting beside her, the two of them barely fitting onto the stool. There was no other way to describe the look they gave each other than simply gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. Missy slipped slightly and his arm was around her waist in a second. She smiled and promptly sat on his lap, her legs crossed as if he were an extension to her piano stool. Except that her arms were around his neck, and they quickly, very quickly, began to kiss.

“Really not a good idea.”

They pointedly ignored him as they kissed deeply, his arm remaining around her waist as his other hand slid up her thigh.

“You are exquisite,” the Master said, breaking their kiss to smile at her.

“As are you, my dear Master,” she said, smiling at him equally lovingly.

The Doctor shook his head and dropped down into a chair, opening a container and leaving them to it. He paused between bites and glanced over, relieved to see their clothes were still on. “Food’s getting cold.”

He watched from the corner of his eye as they stood, the Master taking her hand as if he were escorting her to a grand ball. They walked down the steps and she took a seat next to the Doctor. The Master stood and stared at the Doctor.

“There are not enough chairs - or furniture! No wonder I like a bit of clutter this time round,” the Master said, shaking his head as he walked over to the loveseat, dragging it across to them. He flopped down, picking up a container and fork and lounging back, his legs draped over the arm.

“Isn't this nice?” Missy said, happily eating, “Food and some pleasant company for a change.”

“My company is pleasant Missy,” the Doctor said.

“At best honey,” she said, exchanging an amused glance with her future self.

“Can I borrow your TARDIS or one of the teleportation devices you took from my ex? I’m stuck here,” he said.

“I am obviously not going to give you my TARDIS and Missy’s tech is not coming out of the safe.”

“Ah it's in the safe, good to know, good to know,” she said. “The one behind the painting that’s cleverly hidden no doubt.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes as they both chuckled. 

“You suggested I hadn’t finished the job - so stay here, at least for a while. It’s going to get complicated out there soon - another of your selves causing some widespread problems soon, you can’t all be here at once and the vault will protect you against being affected by...him.”

“Which one of us?” Missy asked, already on a second container.

“Harold Saxon,” the Doctor said, dropping his food to the table and sitting back with a deep sigh. “It’s best we all stay here, out of the way."

“Sleepover then, what fun!” Missy said. “Glad you sent the egg away, he would really get in the way of our threesome...twosome?”

“Twosome...no threesome,” the Master said.

“We are not having a... _Nardole_...he’s going to become you along with everyone else if I don't get him back soon isn't he?"

“Oh don't fret honey, he should thank me for the upgrade, he’ll never look better!” Missy said with a smile.

“Nothing I can do about it now, besides we are at the voting stage - you’re doing your campaigning, we have some time before you go that far.”

“Oh! Can I vote for me?” Missy asked.

“No. No you absolutely cannot vote for you.”

“Doctor, how can she ever learn a thing about being good if you deny her democratic rights. Tell you what, give us both a boring lecture about earth politics then give us a field trip to vote.”

“No! Absolutely not. I am not letting Missy out to go and vote for herself," the Doctor said. "You both need to stay here, and if you're stuck on earth you need to stay and ride it out until all this plays out and he’s …”

“Dead,” Missy said, taking a bite of a prawn cracker.

“In your arms,” the Master said.

“That was tragic - Shakespearean, bit harsh too," Missy said.

“It was cruel and petty,” the Doctor said, dropping his fork to the table.

“Wouldn’t change a thing though - what about you darling?" the Master said.

“Me neither,” she said with a guilty look. “Sorry honey.”

The Doctor sighed and sat back in his chair. “Stay here, wait this out, maybe it’ll be helpful for you both.” 

“Mmm, yes, _helpful,"_ Missy mused. _"_ How did I regenerate?”

“STOP!”

“Oh, daddy’s cross,” Missy said with a laugh.

“Isn’t he just,” the Master said.

“Look, you both stay here, with me. We can pass the time with some movies, or discuss some morality scenarios - your input might...be helpful..or disastrous to Missy...movies then?”

“I’ll need some things,” the Master said, lounging back further in the love seat and smiling at the Doctor.

“Oh are you staying long honey?” Missy said, smiling brightly. “The Doctor and a rather attractive me both hiding out with me. This does sound fun,”

“He can't stay here for too long - it won’t do you any good - the potential for knowledge you shouldn't have, paradoxes...we just remain here until my past self fixes your mess.”

“We did not make a mess. We actually achieved a lot until you went and changed it all back,” said the Master.

“You did not achieve, you wiped out a tenth of the earth's population for a start - - look just tell me what you need."

“Your TARDIS,” he said.

“I am not going to dignify that with an response,” the Doctor said.

“You did...by saying you’re not going to dignify that with a response, you actually _are_ dignifying it with a response," Missy helpfully pointed out.

“That’s true darling," the Master smiled.

The Doctor closed his eyes and felt a headache forming.

Nardole came back three days later, after realising that the only time the Doctor ever sent him away was to stop him from pointing out how his disastrous his decisions were. He stared at the Doctor's empty office and shook his head, making his way down to the vault. 

He paused at the door, listening, turning the intercom on, his ear to the door as he tried to hear the slightest sound. It was eerily silent and he felt a flash of alarm.

“Missy?”

“Mmmm?” she responded, sleepily.

“Are you alone in there? It’s just..I can’t find the Doctor.”

“Oh it’s fine, he’s right here. Now shush, don’t wake him.”

Nardole shook his head and began opening the doors, standing back, his eyes scanning the room rapidly as he tried to gauge her location, realising that two of her could confuse the sensors.

He stepped inside, the doors closing behind him and approached Missy’s bed, standing with his hands on his hips, in utter disgust.

“Sir. Sir! I am appalled and...and...appalled!”

Missy smirked, looking up for her position with her head on her past self’s lap and her legs across the Doctor’s. The Doctor and The Master half lay beside each other, on a heap of cushions. 

“What exactly have you been dong in here?”

“Exactly? Oh you want details? Didn't think you were the _type_ , but ok, when two people love each other very much, and one of them also loves _themselves_ very much…”

“You...you didn’t? You three….you….Doctor….DOCTOR!”

“Nardole, don't fuss,” the Doctor said, his eyes still closed. “This is perfectly innocent.”

“Perfectly,” the Master said, turning to place a kiss on the Doctor’s cheek. “Did you bring more food? We’re hungry and we need our energy. Pizza and then italian for dinner. What’s happening about breakfast?”

“I am NOT a butler!”

“Nardole, it’s all going very well, don’t worry,” the Doctor said, wake now and grimacing at the multitude of takeaway cartons. Crisp wrappers and spilled popcorn all over the floor surrounding Missy’s bed.

“I can see that!

“We learned about sharing,” the Master said with a laugh.

“Yeah," Missy said, stretching out across them both. “We shared popcorn really nicely and didn’t fight hardly at all.”

“You pushed him off the bed,” the Doctor pointed out.

“And he straddled me, pinning me down to try and steal my chocolate.”

“And you liked that far too much,” the Doctor pointed out.

“And then you separated us which was rude because we were in the _middle_ of a kiss,” the Master complained.

“ _Right_ in the middle,” Missy mouthed, looking at Nardole. “It _was_ quite rude.”

“I don’t want to hear this!” Nardole said.

“Good news though Nardole!” the Doctor said.

“I find that hard to believe,” Nardole hissed.

“We, are going on a field trip!” the Doctor said with a broad smile.

“Yay!” Missy exclaimed.

“A...field...Doctor you are not taking Missy out of the vault!”

“It’ll be fine Nardole. We have had lengthy discussions about earth politics and a field trip would be very helpful.”

“She will escape!”

“No, she won't.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“I promised, Missy said, looking quite serious.

Nardole rolled his eyes and looked at the Doctor in dismay, “you know their past self is running for government. They’re only going to vote for themselves!”

“Well Nardole, we can’t force anyone to vote a certain way, that wouldn't be democratic.”

“This is ridiculous!” Nardole said. "And how long is he staying here?”

“Oh just a few days, we don’t want to cause issues with their timeline. Elections are today, ready to go?” the Doctor asked

“Why are you asking me...if I’m... _no_.”

“We will both be with them, nothing is going to go wrong.”

“No!”

“Was he always so funny when he panicked?” the Master said

“Oh yes, quite the worried egg that one,” Missy laughed.

“Doctor you can't do this, and I will play no part in this and I am very _very_ cross!”

They left an hour later, returning to the vault soon after, much to Nardole’s total surprise. He stood back as they sat together again, yet more takeaway cartons littering the vault.

“Why didn’t you escape?” he asked Missy.

“Because I don't want to.”

“Of course you….really?”

“Yes!” Missy said exchanging a look of exasperation with her past self and both rolling their eyes simultaneously.

“She takes this seriously," the Master said. "See this is our problem, no one takes us seriously until we start killing the pets. _Then_ they listen."

“You mean the _Doctor_ doesn’t take us seriously, _then_ he listens.”

“Obviously, I'm talking about the Doctor. We don’t really care what the egg thinks,” he said, glancing at Nardole.

“Oh nice, thanks very much. _Very_ much!” Nardole said. “I only bring you everything you ask for, almost everything, within reason and things I probably don’t even know about because don’t think I don’t know you’re hypnotising me Missy! All those pick and mix cups under your bed. And I bring you food and gallons and gallons of bubble bath and never get a thank you OR a Christmas card!”

They all stared at Nardole, the Doctor looking thoughtful, the Master smirking and Missy merely staring.

“Dad’s upset,” the Master said.

“ _Daddy’s_ pleased though,” Missy said.

“Oh GOD!” Nardole shouted as he turned around and walked out. 

The Doctor winced as the door slammed behind him. “You should be nicer to him, he does have a point.”

“Well yes, I should, but I get so bored, and he’s so amusing to annoy,” Missy said, shrugging.

“Won’t be long before he turns everyone into us, and you’ll have earth back to it’s usual boring state” the Master said.

“Yes, and then you’ll be leaving?” the Doctor asked.

“Perhaps - could stay for a little while longer - I missed this - us here, together,” he said.

Missy regarded him with a small flash of concern, “how long has it been?”

“Since I was here, with the Doctor? A while Missy. A while.”

“I meant, how long has it been since you were with him…..” she said.

“Too long,” he said, meeting her eyes with such a look of devastation that she felt a sting in her hearts.

“Stay then, and when you go back - make that right. Whatever you have to do. We didn't do this for nothing.”

The Doctor watched them both in silence, concern flooding through him as to what their futures held, the comfort of the familiarity of the years in the vault suddenly seeming like unstable ground.

“I know we didn't, I'll do what I have to Missy,” he said, taking her hand and raising it to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. She smiled sadly in response, nodding slightly. 

“We’re going to have to clean up soon, we have a startling amount of takeaway cartons in here now. Best we don’t ask Nardole,” the Doctor said, trying to change the subject away from such a tentative concept as their own futures.

“Another field trip honey?” Missy said winking. “I have needs, and you're not meeting them, and Nardole won’t go in that nice shop with the whips and lingerie in the window to get my perfectly reasonable requests.”

“Missy….do you really…”

“Yes,” the Master said. “She does.”

“I’ll get you a catalogue, you can order your….things..”

“Sex toys,” Missy said matter of factly.

“Toys….from there,” the Doctor said, shaking his head. “Let’s not push our luck without another field trip. No one died, it was highly successful. You both got to vote for yourselves and come home to another three days of being spoiled with endless food delivered. 

“Ourselves?” Missy asked in disgust. 

“You think we voted for ourself?” the Master said.

“Well...of course you….you didn't?” the Doctor said, utterly confused.

“After what he did to us?” Missy exclaimed

“After what he….what have you told her? You can’t share her future to either of us!”

“Oh only the important parts,” he said.

“Those are exactly the parts you shouldn't be sharing!”

“Relax Doctor, she had to make an informed decision about how to cast her vote,” the Master said.

“Yes Doctor, I needed the facts and he does _not_ get my vote.”

“You didn’t vote Saxon?” the Doctor asked, utterly amazed.

“No!” they both said.

“He shot me!” the Master said.

“And me!” Missy said.

“Don’t say another word!” the Doctor said, shaking his head.

Everyone fell silent, the two Masters exchanging amused smirks as they ate, the Doctor calculating all the ways they may have interfered with their own timelines.

“Doc-tor? Missy asked.

“Yes,” he said with a deep sigh.

“Can she borrow a dematerialisation circuit?” the Master asked.

“Just a spare will do. Oh and I need to laser proof my corset.”

The Doctor dropped his head into his hand and sighed deeply. 


End file.
